Our Appearance
The long graveled lane that leads to my house is the same lane I use to walk to our mailbox. As I walk, I pass our church, neighbor’s homes, a man mowing the church lawn, a woman walking her dog. I must also cross a small country road before I reach the white box fixed atop a post.
For reasons that are hard for some people to understand, I won’t walk to my mailbox without making sure my hair is combed, my make-up is just right and the clothes I’m wearing are straight. I don’t want anyone to see me if everything isn’t just right. Most mornings the first things I do after dressing, is put on my make-up and brush my hair – just in case someone comes to my door.
My mother was a stay at home mom and other than early mornings, I never saw her without her make-up. She was always dressed nicely. Even when she was gardening or working on the farm, she never dressed sloppily and her hair was always in place. I suppose I mock her in my habits. My sister is the same way. You never see her that she’s not neat and clean.
I presume also that because I grew up in the TV era of Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best, Brady Bunch, My Three Sons and Leave it to Beaver I mimicked what I saw. Most of those shows had wives and mothers who were always well dressed. I’ll admit to dressing down at home though. I mean I don’t wear a dress when I cook and clean like they did on those shows. Most of the time I wear shorts or jeans; I’m big on being comfortable. I guess what I’m saying is I try to look nice no matter what I am wearing.
I know some women who wear their pajamas all day when they are off work and at home. In fact, I’ve been visiting before when the door was answered by a pajama clad woman who apologized profusely. Some friends have told me that on their days off, sometimes they forget to comb their hair or they don’t wear make-up.
What does the way we dress say to our spouse? Are we telling him through our appearance that he doesn’t matter? What about the way we dress when we go to work or out with friends? Are we looking better for them and dressing sloppy and carelessly for him?
It’s very easy to become so comfortable in a marriage that women don’t consider how they look. My husband always brags on the way I look and dress. It’s important to him that I look nice even though he tells me he loves me know matter what I wear, or how I dress. The point is for women to care about themselves. We should want to look nice for my husband.
Our Actions
The way we dress ourselves is important, but what is even more worthy of our contemplation, time and effort is our actions. “…with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” Our deeds or action and words reflect the depth of our commitment to Christ.
In the early years of my marriage, I didn’t have a problem with acting appropriately towards my husband. It really wasn’t until after the birth of our son that the stresses of my world overwhelmed me at times and I’d say things to my husband when he upset me that were totally uncalled for and shameful. He reminded me often that I had a sharp tongue. I spouted off and spewed poison when I was angry, saying things I really didn’t mean and hurting him when I knew I shouldn’t.
This little fault has been difficult for me to conquer. The verse that I read and reflect upon is found in James 3:8 “but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
Taming my tongue has been a much larger task than I can solve for myself. I’m constantly praying for God to help me with taming my tongue. It’s been a long process, but I’m much better now than I was those first years of marriage. I don’t want to hurt my husband, I’ve learned that by saying encouraging and uplifting statements, my attitude changes and the creases I created by frowning has loosened.
Dressing the part for marriage is a two-step process. It takes the clothes we wear, the way we present ourselves as far as our appearance and it takes dressing the part by the attitude we wear daily. A woman wearing negativity will destroy a marriage, but a woman wearing a good positive attitude will make her marriage glow.
Being neat and clean in our dress as well as in our actions will serve as water for our marriage.
